well, my drug fiend step sister had her baby. it was a boy and weighed 7 lbs and 7 ounces. i guess she thought that her having a baby would erase over a year of her telling tales on me and talking about me as if i was a dog and the original reason i stopped having anything to do with her to begin with. it wasn't. she harassed my poor old grandmother into getting my number and then she had my grand mother call me because it was long distance from the hospital. duh. imagine that. so now she has my phone number which i didn't want. and surprise surprise, she tested positive for drugs and defacs came and took the baby to put it into foster care. if i'm not mistaken, if she was positive for drugs, so was the baby. i don't recall them drug testing me when i had my son, probably because he wasn't born high. i think the routine is, they test the baby and then they test the mother. i'm surprised they didn't have her arrested instead of just having the baby taken away. she is never gonna be clean because she doesn't want to be clean. she sat and lied to me on the phone and told me she hadn't been doing any shit. well, the drug test told differently. now god only knows what kind of problems this poor baby will face because of her doing drugs while she was pregnant. i'm less worried about the baby now in foster care than i was thinking of it in her care. she is the last person i would entrust a baby to. a small defenseless child that is depending on you for all of it's needs. no, she can't even see to her own needs let alone a childs. maybe i'm a bad person to be relieved that that baby was taken away from her. if i honestly thought she would care for it and take good care of it, i would go myself and help her try to get the baby back, but i just don't see it.

as i sit at my computer i wonder about the river of life and the way it's raging around me. the only things keeping my head above the water at this point are my son and a very tenuous grasp on my husband. mostly just my son. my young republican. i'm tired of pretending that everything is peachy with me when i feel like shit warmed over and i don't want to get out of bed or even change out of my pajamas. i just want to flop in the bed and watch tv and not have to deal with anything at all. i want to bury my head. all because i have nothing that makes me want to get up out of that bed. nothing that makes me feel like i am needed anymore or even really wanted. my son doesn't seem to need me anymore, he's becoming less and less dependant on me every day. i guess that is what growing up is about. but it doesn't help me any. i need something to fill me up and make me excited about life again. i just don't know what that thing is.

well, another week, gone. this one was spent sick, racing between the bathroom and my bed mostly. i did try to get on here a few times briefly, but i never was on for very long. i did have the pleasure of going to the dentist and the displeasure of having to go back on monday to have fillings done on my teeth. i don't want to seem ugly or stupid or anything, but i just don't have fillings or cavities. they just don't happen in my mouth to my teeth. now i have two very small ones and he is talking about doing it without any kind of numbing agent. doesn't that seem kinda cruel and unusual to anyone besides me?
anyway, riley got his report card back from school this week. he got all a's again..i'm so proud of him....
have a good weekend all!

I	Intelligent
N	Nerdy
C	Cranky
U	Unusual
R	Revolutionary
A	Astounding
B	Bubbly
L	Legendary
Y	Young
I	Irresistible
L	Loving
L	Lively

Name / Username:

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com
kinda cool i thought. found this on fallen angel's blog.

1. my nick name use to be jose quervo because i could drink so much of it and remain standing and partying and there was a song out at the time that everyone said was my song because of it.
2. i earned this nickname by the time i was 15 yrs old. by 16, i drank so much of it one night mixed with so many other things i got so sick i thought i was gonna die and after that i could never stand the smell of tequila to this day.
3. i met u2 and was asked to go party with them because i was such a pretty irish lass. my boyfriend at the time was not invited and drug me away in a huff. so i didn't get to party with u2, but would that not have been too cool? it is still cool that they flirted with me.
4. i once went out with a guy who played professional baseball. i felt like a midget next to him, he was quite tall and i am quite short. i won't say who it was but he no longer plays and hasn't for a while, he had a short career.
5. i have dated a member of every single branch of the united states military, including the coast guard, which is technically a branch of the military. out of them all i would have to say there is a tie between the air force and the navy on which is my favorite. the air force is just, well, the air force. and the navy, well, they are a load of fun and they ship off before you have time to get good and sick of them. you can't beat it. i should give the army some credit however, i almost married into it. thank god i realized and didn't.

just thought those would be fun for a change of pace on here. have a good weekend every one!
and lest i forget, and heaven help this irish girl if i did, every one have a happy st patricks day! don't forget to wear your green!