well for all who wished me luck on my dr's appointment, instead of sending indinvidual replies, i'm just going to post it here. apparently because of whatevear injury i sustained that made it to where the medication was not working any more, the doctor decided that we should take me off the medication that made at to where i could function some what pretty much all to gether instead of trying to find out what it was that caused the injury to begin with. how is that for a wonderful doctor? i mean the whole thing was stupid anyway. the only reason i was having to see him is i made the comment that i could tell a slight difference in the effect the medication has now than when i first started taking it however many years ago. well duh. now because of this injury, he is pulling me off my meds all together. i'm highly pissed. he has not helped me any more, as a matter of fact i am getting worse. and to top it all off the has the audacity to want me to let him chit chat with my shrink, something i don't even let my husband, who i trust, do. now this man, who i do not trust wants me to let him in on my very personal and private information and i just don't see it happening. and to top it all off he wants me to let him do epidurals on me, which in the past have put me in excrutiating pain. everytime a dr has put a needle anywhere near my spinte, it has made every worse for me. i told him this when i first started seeing him. he seemed ok with it. now he is trying to shove one down my throat. needless to say i am irate. i don't know what to do. i want to find another dr., but i am under contract with this docotor. but this one is not listening to me. he hears what he wants to hear and that is it.
well, now i am going to go curl up in bed and try to die. i may try to cheack out a few blogs while i am here. i miss readying up on you guys. oh, and my birthday went ok i guess. no cake because of my diet, i didn't get to eat with the family because of my diet, but i got some pretty earings, a pretty purse, some money, a nice picture frame and beautiful picture frame. not too bad and i still have one sister planning to give me something. my diet is going well, i've lost about 24 lbs in about a month and a half, so that is good.
hope to talk to you soon
kelli

i still seem to be caught in my own personal hell, not that there seems to be too much concern about it. i once wrote that i thought that if i disappeared off of here, that no one would notice, well, i was almost right. one person has kept a check on me. and i really appreciate that lucy has done that. with everything going on in her world at this point, she has made the time to check in on me and let me know that there is someone out there that is concerned about me. she explained to me that she was sure there were others out there who had me on their minds, just a lot was going on right now. i guess so. for weeks i have been trapped in this personal hell and no one but lucy has had time to check to see if i am still alive, to see how i am feeling, or to just let me know that someone was thinking of me. so mostly this post is to say thank you to lucy for being such a kind soul and for being there for me while i am going through this horrible time. when i make it into the computer room to check my emails, it always makes me feel better to see something from the blogstream, to open it up and know that someone has thought of me and sent me a message. i want lucy to know that what she has done while i have been sick, and i guess what i hope she will continue to do until i am well, has meant a lot to me and has cheered me up when i have been so far down because of all of this. i can't say it has cured my pain, no miracles here, but she has cheered me up when i was down and made me feel less alone in my suffering, something no one else did. so i would like to thank lucy. you are the best. you are a good friend to have and it has been a great honor to have made your aquaintance on the blogstream. i am proud to know you and i hope that we will be friends well into the future because you are a very special person. your heart is so big. you have so much going on and yet you worry about all of us that are having problems right now. i wish you the best in everything and hope all your dreams come true for yourself and for your children. you deserve it. not everyone is as kind and considerate as you are.