i always knew growing up i was never normal. i didn't react to things the way normal kids did. the first real clue i guess was the stomach ulcer i had when i was six years old. that let us know i was anxious about things and it was also part of the situation that led to the ptsd. yippie. i never could make myself be a cheerleader in school, but i did reach relative popularity and was even nominated for homecoming queen one year with them not knowing anything going on within my head. i had already attempted suicide by then at least once, but they didn't know that. they never saw the bruises from the beatings because he was careful to keep them where the clothes would cover them. that all stopped when i was 14 and i fought back. every time he hit me i kicked him back. i tried to tell a teacher, but he sent me back home with them and wouldn't let me get help. it was a couple of years before the child abuse laws became so serious as they are now. today, that teacher would lose his job for that. not what i wanted though, i just wanted help.
so now i am being treated for this mixed bag of tricks plus a lot of physical problems..my back is totally fried. i have to have 3 types of morphine in order to get out of bed now. i take muscle relaxers to keep me from ending up in some ball on the floor. so much fun.. i have one pill i have to take for ic that could make me go bald, which is a shame since everyone loves my long red hair.
i guess that sums up my introduction for now. have a happy new year!